Stress and Depression

So I am not going to lie.  I had stopped dieting.  I stopped working out.  I stopped living again.

The truth is that I am falling into depression really hard right now.  I feel like I am stuck in a rut.  Everything seems to be going wrong.  I am tired, lethargic, and bored with my life.  Most days I get up at 5:40am, take a shower, eat a lousy breakfast, work 7-3, then come home and crash hard.  I go through a nightly routine where I sit on the couch, watch my shows, and at 9:00pm I go to bed to repeat this the next day.  I don't have any friends here in Rochester that are available to hang out with me.  One of my lone friends left here in Rochester is graduating in less that a month and possibly moving to Colorado.  The people who I consider to be my best friends are scattered throughout the country.  I feel like I have no one who is here to support me through any of this.  My family in law is great, but they have their own lives that I feel like I am invading into.  I have Jeremy, but he is busy working full time and working on getting his business started.  Plus we are both stressed out over the house closing that has been causing us a lot of grief lately.  Needless to say, I have a lot on my mind.


I am trying to make a come back.  I need to kick my own ass into gear.  I can't always depend on others to get me through things.  So here I am.  I am 5'6" and 159lbs.  My goal is to be between 125-130lbs.  This means I need to lose  between 29 and 36lbs.  I am no longer putting a time limit on it to cause me stress.  I am going to follow in my friend's footsteps and make a white board of my steps on the list.  I want to finally reach my goal and be back to my weight when I started college.  I want to wear a single digit jean size again.  I want my legs to look good when I wear heels.

So here I am.  159 (current)-130 (goal)= 29lbs to go at least.

Sickly Week

So I didn't go to the gym much if at all this week.
My Aunt Rosy Came To Visit.
Didn't eat very well.
Bad Me.

A brief glimmer of success :-)

Last night while bowling my Dad-in-law told me to stop pulling up my pants.  Without my knowing, I kept tugging my pants up to keep them from falling down.  I then realized my pants were a little to big, which they definitely hadn't been before!  My pants are getting big!!!! :-)

I weighed myself this morning to a wonderful surprise.  I lost 3lbs :-)  I am officially down to 160lbs!!! No way!  I am a little behind schedule, but better late than never.

The reason I am weighing in on a Friday and not Saturday is because I am heading home to visit my family and my Grampy who is in the hospital.  Hopefully by the time I get home he will be out of there.  He is alright, but it is scary having something like that happen when you are too far away to be there.


Beginning Weight- 163lbs
Weight Lost - 3lbs
Current Weight- 160lbs

Woot!!!

Weigh In Day-- Epic Fail.

I only lost .2lbs.  Yes the period before the two is actually there.  Epic fail.  I don't even want to talk about it.

WHAT THE *BLEEP*!?!?

So I decided to do a sneak peek at my weigh in tomorrow and my reaction was the title to this blog.  I got on the scale and it told me I had gained 3-4lbs.  :-(  My hubby assures me that because I had just eaten dinner and I am wearing sweats that it would make me gain weight.  My thoughts instantly jumped to: I must need to do more. No to this! No to that! You suck!  :-(  Please tell me that my hubby is right!!

Why am I so hungry????

So I have been working out very well :-)  Mom and I went three days in a row.  Yesterday we did cardio, weightlifting, then cool down cardio.  Then we were sore.  Haha.  So today we just did a half an hour of cardio with a cool down.  But we did go three days in a row. :-)

We also have done three days of good meals!
Yesterday we had pizzas made with healthy ingredients!
The pizza mom and I made specifically for us had a wheat crust, grilled chicken, part skim low fat mozzarella, and the best part: Pizza Sauce made from Marinara sauce, crushed tomatoes, and CARROT PUREE!  It tasted just like regular pizza sauce plus we got extra veggie vitamins and minerals :-).  We put it on everybody's pizza! The other pizzas we made were cheese, and sausage-50% lean pepperoni-cheese pizza.  All the cheese was part skim low fat mozzarella and on the cheese pizza we added in some parmesan.  No one noticed the change in sauce ;-)  We also had a wonderful salad made from fresh romaine lettuce, celery, carrots, radishes, cucumbers, chick peas, and tomatoes!

Today we had chicken breasts, squash with potatoes and sweet potatoes, corn and salad.  Our chicken breasts had rosemary balsamic vinaigrette on it.  Wonderful!  Everything we had is wonderful!  We have kept up with meal planning and I haven't really cheated.  I snuck a couple skittles today, but 4 skittles versus a whole candy bar is next to nothing, but I still shouldn't have.  I need to get rid of all that crap.  *stares at the garbage*... Might have to toss stuff now!  Then the hubby would kill.... *ponders* Maybe not!

Lately I have been so hungry and I don't know why!  I eat enough and I don't know why I constantly want food.  I drink water, but I am still hungry!  I don't want to be hungry!!!  I have tried eating a piece of fruit, it doesn't go away.  Is there any relief!?

No-More-Excuses-Vember.

Today I went to the gym with my Mother-in-Law and we did 20 minutes of cardio, then I taught her how to use the techno gym, then we did a cardio cool down!  Then she did something awesome-- she signed up for a gym membership!  I am so excited because now I have someone to go to the gym with.  :-)  Tomorrow we are going to play racquetball, then lift weights, then do our cardio cool down.  I am so happy to have a partner in crime. hehe

Today we also planned out our dinners for the rest of the week!  No pasta at all this week!  Score!  We also got this nifty cookbook that teaches you how to sneak veggies into foods so that what you are eating is more nutritious.  We also got this cool book from Wegman's that tells you which meats are lean and the best for you in each of the categories (pork, beef, chicken, lamb, and turkey).  They also give you cooking instructions and calorie info.  I am really loving Wegman's!

Tonight we made a good dinner on Wegman's advice:
Grilled Sirloin Steaks
Steamed Broccoli and Cauliflower
Roasted Squash with onions

Brian made bread so I had a small slice to be polite (but it was very good!) and Mom made potatoes for everyone else, but her and I didn't have any of those :-) I think together we will succeed in our weight loss goals.  I see good things coming :-)